You don’t have to look very hard to find a lot of stupid political opinions being spoke and written. Politics always brings it out, but this election is a special one that has brought out some of the most ignorant opinions ever uttered. So we’ve created a list of responses to people who can’t can’t keep their mouth shut. These work well in person or online.
1. Where did you read that?
If you’re being sarcastic, they probably won’t notice. So go ahead and ask them where they read that little factoid they’re now sharing. The best part is that it forces them to either lie, or mention what useless source they got it from. Or cop to the fact that they just made that shit up.
2. Could you explain that in more detail?
This is perfect for getting someone to realize that they don’t really know what they’re talking about. It forces them into humility, admitting that they just say things sometimes that feel right. But it at least prevents them from fooling the world into believing they have a clue about politics.
“No please! Do go on!”
3. I wish I knew as much as you did about that
Again, they might not realize you’re being sarcastic. It might make them feel special, but they will look silly if you say this around other people. And if they do catch on to the sarcasm, so what. It shines a light on their ignorance of the subject by highlighting their supposed “knowledge” and the “envy” it creates.
4. You should have your own podcast!
“Why should I be the only one to hear these brilliant political opinions! You should broadcast them to the world so everyone can hear! You could be the next Marc Maron.” But seriously, please don’t.
5. Do you have a PhD?
Of course they don’t. And now they have to tell you that they don’t. Bonus points if YOU have a PhD so you can say “….because I DO, motherf***er!”
“What about a high school diploma? Do you have one of those?”
6. Hold on, I need a pen and paper so I can write down what you just said
This one is fun because it involves props, potentially. If there is a pen and paper nearby, you can make a big show of it and actually write down what they said and stow it away for safe keeping in your purse or wallet. Hopefully, they will realize how ridiculous their opinions are halfway through this spectacle.
7. Maybe YOU should be President!
The granddaddy of all responses. Imply that they are just so politically savvy, intelligent, and well-read that they themselves should run for for president. It’s always fun to see how people respond to this.
So there you go, folks. Have a fun, safe, election year.