No matter where you are in the country, you’re probably going to recognize a few of these fellow passengers by their strange, yet universal behavior.
So here they are…
1. The Singer
This type can be found sitting towards the back, singing like they’re on an American Idol bus driven by Simon Cowell. Luckily, these types are usually pretty good singers. Nobody has the balls to sing in public if they can’t sing.
2. The Cyclist
Hold on, bus driver, Spandex-butt needs to hook his 1200 dollar bike to the front of the bus. And we all must wait for him because he/she is a good citizen. But GOD please just take a seat already and stop making us wait for your self-righteous display of superiority.
3. The Phone Talker
Easily the most despised of all bus passengers. The person for whom we know all the personal details of, thanks to a 45-minute phone conversation with what could only be a very patient family member.
Attributes: Loud voice that carries all the way through the bus. Booming laugh. Probably seated next to a hunched-over, sad looking passenger who wishes they would have missed the bus this morning. They have a life full of the drama: Prescriptions they can’t get refilled, car problems, people that won’t take their advice.
4. The Headphones Guy #1 (Hip-Hop)
This guy has earbuds turned up to 11, and is getting really into whatever hip-hop track is crackling through those tiny speakers and to the awareness of the rest of the bus.
5. The Headphones Guy #2 (Metal or Techno)
The other headphones guy typically wears those big, round, cushy-looking kind. The kind that look like they’re supposed to keep music in, but the volume is up so loud that everyone can hear the frightening sounds coming from them. Usually it’s obscure metal or electronic music.
6. The Giggler
The passenger that’s reading something hilarious on the Internet and can’t contain their giggles. Usually these types are completely fine, other than we’re all dying to know what’s so DAMN FUNNY.
7. The Chatterbox
Forget having a peaceful bus ride to enjoy silence and get lost in your own thoughts. Now you’re sharing details about your life with a complete stranger and everyone else in a 7-foot radius. Why? because you’re trying to be polite to the person you cruelly got seated next to that wants to have a conversation.
8. The Mom
She always has TWO kids. And they are both squirmy, and they both want to stare at you. This is the passenger that you truly feel sympathy for.
Attributes: Seated up front so they can escape as fast as possible. Young and probably struggling to make ends meet. Forced to try to control her two squirming kids for the whole duration of the bus ride
9. The Office-On-The-Bus Guy
This guy probably probably has to catch the first bus leaving the station so that he can set up his lap pillow, laptop, laptop plug, briefcase, and notepad all from his bus seat.
10. The Bejeweler
What’s that distracting flashing in the corner of your eye? It’s someone playing Bejeweled on their mega-screen device, of course. There’s always at least one on every bus. If not Bejeweled, then it’s Clash of Clans, or some other busy, colorful game.
11. The Fantasy Reader
There is always someone on the bus that is reading some dragon sword novel from the library the size of the King James bible. Nothing wrong with this, of course, but look up ever once in a while or you’ll miss the beautiful world out there full of people peeing in an alley or eating am/pm hot dogs.
12. The Crazy Yeller
Certain bus routes always have a crazy yeller. I guess the street corner audience wasn’t paying attention and have to hold bus passengers captive while yell about being wronged by society in every way. Of course no one will do anything because they look as if they’ll stab you if you acknowledge them.
13. The Movie-Theater-On-The-Bus Person
We have the technology to watch a TV show or movie on the bus, so it’s no surprise that there is always someone with a smartphone propped up on the top of the seat in front of them playing an episode of 30 rock.
14. The Weird Couple
Finally, there’s the weird couple. They are riding the bus together, snuggled up, but they look like life has steamrolled them over and over.
Attributes: Grocery bags next to them. Seated on bench seats so they can hang on each other.
Alright, your turn. What other annoying bus passenger types are there? Add your suggestion in a comment!